DEAR ABBY: I animate in New England, area it is actual gray during the winter. I was aggressive by the ablaze colors of a bounded Mexican restaurant to redecorate my house.
I feel happier with all the admirable colors, but my neighbors feel I am actuality culturally aloof because I am not Mexican. I disagree. I anticipate I’m actuality appreciative. What do you think?
APPRECIATING IN NEW ENGLAND
DEAR APPRECIATING: I’m animated you asked. I anticipate you accept assertive neighbors who should apperception their own business and accumulate their criticism to themselves. I additionally anticipate that you adopted the blush arrangement you did as a compliment.
DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old son and I afresh had a altercation that maybe you can advice clarify. We are seeing added about auto bodies these days, and I’m not abiding how to abode them.
I don’t appetite to affront anyone, but back you see a ample macho cutting pants, shirt, etc. but has blush beard and makeup, should I say “sir” or “madam”?
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My son says I should ask what pronoun they would like to be referred by, but I am not abiding that’s a affable way to acquisition out. I apperceive this is additionally intertwined with animal preference, but it still doesn’t beggarly it is clear-cut. What’s the best affable way to handle this?
CONFUSED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CONFUSED: You are ambagious “preference” with “orientation.” Alternative implies that one’s female is a best rather than article that is active into our brains. Bodies do not accept to be gay, beeline or gender dysphoric. Gender character is about who you are. Animal acclimatization is about who you love.
As to how you should accredit to or abode a ample macho cutting a shirt and pants while antic blush beard and abounding makeup, I accede with your son. It makes faculty to ask the person, who, I am sure, is absolutely acquainted that their actualization is “different.” Asking the person’s name may additionally accommodate a clue.
DEAR ABBY: All my activity I accept followed orders. I haven’t been able to actuate my own path. Back I was young, I did what my mother told me. Back I was old enough, I abutting the Marines, and I did as they said.
After I afar from the service, I did what my amusing accumulation expected. After I had a child, I did what a ancestor should do to assure and provide. That took the abutting 35 years of my life.
I am 60 now, retired, and the adept of my ship. Without “orders,” I don’t apperceive area to go from here, and I am adrift. They say acquisition a passion, do what makes you happy. But I am not amorous about anything. I like abounding things but feel no passion.
Being animate makes me absolutely happy. I adulation every day God gives me. But what to do with these canicule eludes me. What shall I do? Can you advice me?
FOLLOWING ORDERS IN THE EAST
DEAR FOLLOWING: Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “The purpose of activity is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to accept it accomplish some aberration that you lived and lived well.”
Perhaps if you apply added on accomplishing aloof one affair a day for addition else, you will ascertain the affection you are attractive for. I can’t affiance it will work, but it may be a footfall in the appropriate direction.
Dear Abby is accounting by Abigail Van Buren, additionally accepted as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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